Oh Blog It All

My mirror lies a little, it tells me I look twenty-two. In reality I am a little older then that but I really don’t look it. And it’s not because I use seventeen types of anti-wrinkle cream either. I simply stick to the maxim , as imparted to me by the wise Barney Simon (OMG I love you Barney!) that if it’s too loud, I’m too old.

Of course I’m getting older. I don’t get to have cake and pressies every June for nothing, but I wasn’t getting too old. I mean I like Linkin Park at full volume so I’m cool, right?

Right.

So anyway we were in Musica today and, ooh goody, I got a new PS2 game (with eternal thanks to my Geek) and I was all excited and stuff. As we were leaving the shop my Geek stopped to look at some headphones (last count we had 6 pairs but apparently that is not enough). Appropriately enough the shop speaker is situated above said headphone display - great and groovy, right?

Sort of.

I heard myself telling my Geek that we should leave because it was just too loud. The significance of this statement took a while to sink in. And when it did I nearly stopped to have a good cry right there in the middle of Tyger Valley Centre. The day had finally come.

It was too loud, I was too old.

Deep down I knew this was almost inevitable but I thought it would happen when my kids morphed into the teenage spawn of Satan, not now, when I’m just getting into this finally old enough to drink, drive, vote and afford cool stuff age. Not now, when I don’t even have kids.

Naturally I am devastated. I am, as I type this, trying to lift my spirits with a whole slab and a half of Top Deck but it’s not doing the trick, which is just sad because I’ve never known the Cadbury’s Cure to fail.

*sniff*

Look, I’m not going to let this get me down, there are some positives to be had. For a start a little shopping spree is in order. There is a whole range of flat, lace up, sensible shoes in neutral colours to be had from Green Cross. I can now do away with contact lenses and just embrace bifocals. And between you and me I’ve never really liked thongs and giving them up is actually a blessing.

Sadly there will also have to be a bit of a change to this blog as well. It just doesn’t seem right that Geek’s Girl post her youthful insights here, when those so-called youthful insights are really the incoherent mutterings of a Geek’s Old Hag.

It would seem that in the end we all get too old, but don’t let this happen to you dear reader. Go now and turn the volume way up. I’ll be be here googling for on-line bingo and maybe Milky Bar will be more help by far.

Hands up who’s read The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown? Me neither, although I must admit that there is a copy in our house. I don’t know if I ever plan to read it though, partly because Mr Lewis Perdue claims that Dan Brown shamelessly plagiarised some of his (Perdue’s) books.

For the record I have not read Mr Perdue’s books either although one of my favourite bloggers, Stef, has and he seems to be in agreement with Mr Perdue.

In an effort to become more informed on the issue I googled it and found this very interesting link which really made me smile (and made my title more apt).

Follow the links, have a look, decide for yourself - I’m just sharing the bit that I do know.

Mr Perdue has comments enabled on his blog so if you have any questions or comments best make them there.

My apologies to Stef or Mr Perdue if I have misrepresented or misunderstood them in any way - the error is then entirely mine.

Edited to add that is was this that made / inspired me to write this particular entry.

I suspected that unemployment would be bad for my blog. There is nothing like being cooped up in an office doing a job you’re not too keen on to help focus your creativity and energy into writing entertaining blog posts (’entertaining’ being a subjective term of course).

I was right too. It took me more then a month after I left my job to come up with something, anything, even remotely worth posting. Though no sooner had I posted my ode to open source then I started worrying about the next post. So, in an effort to ensure that my dear, adoring fan (hey Honey :-) doesn’t desert me forever I took myself off to the Department of Home Affairs this morning looking for some inspiration.

The thing with Home Affairs is that there is no getting away from them. You’re born, well then somebody better tell them about it. Same thing when you die, they HAVE to know. Hit the sweet sixteen and been screwed by the entire 1st rugby team and they gotta know about it to. Okay so they only need to know about the sweet sixteen bit but that is so that they can issue you with a little green book that says you are who you say you are. And that you’re sixteen of course.

Think you might ever need to visit a country outside of your own, well then off to Home Affairs you go for a little blue book that says you are who you say you are in a foreign country. And if you’re real lucky, like I was, it will take them only eight months to issue said little blue book. Don’t plan on going anywhere in a hurry okay.

So avoiding them is pretty damn impossible, unless you’re the one that died (lucky you), so heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to Home Affairs you go. Go, stand in a queue for an hour or two, because you really don’t have anything better to do.

It didn’t take long for me to find something to write, or rather rant, about. Did you know that acceptable, ace, admirable, agreeable, commendable, congenial, excellent, exceptional, favourable, first-class, first-rate, great, marvellous, nice, pleasing, positive, satisfactory, satisfying, splendid, superb, superior, tip-top, valuable, welcome, wonderful and worthy are all synonyms of good? Did you know that not one of these words can be used to describe the attitudes of the people who work at Home Affairs?

I do have a solution though. I propose that the front line staff at all Home Affairs offices all work for tips, just like waitrons do. Now wouldn’t that be fun? Maybe then, when I greet someone there with a smile and a cheery good morning exactly as I did this morning, I’d get the same in reply. You would all tip generously for good service, would you not?

If, by some miracle, some Home Affairs official reads this post, here are a few more ideas to make the experience a little more pleasant for the citizens of this beautiful country (whom you are here to serve, just as your posters say dammit).

1. Women with babies should have their own queue and counter. In fact I think they should have a nice little waiting room all their own where they get to relax in comfy arm chairs and get served a cup of tea by an obliging Home Affairs official. When their turn comes they can be shown to a nice office where they will be helped with any and all queries they have. Should it happen that there are not enough chairs for all then those few who have to stand around for a while should be given a foot massage by the same, very obliging, Home Affairs official.

2. How about a play area for toddlers? Lord knows it’s no fun for them to queue for a few hours. Some plastic tables and chairs, blocks and toys and a dedicated person to keep and eye on them should keep them pretty occupied. It would be especially nice for kids who come from poorer homes where toys might be the ultimate luxury.

3. Lastly, I know you can’t trust me. I understand that you have to take my fingerprints and confirm that I really am who I say I am. And I appreciate that I didn’t have to queue for more then an hour in order for my fingerprints to be taken. It would have been nicer if there was soap and paper towels available to wash off all that ink when we were done. Please, I only ask because that ink is so messy and when people on the street see you they wonder if maybe you’ve just been released from gaol.

Hopefully it will be a long, long while before I have to go Home Affairs again. After all they will be posting my new little green book directly to my house. This little green book is rather special, it’s the book that tells everyone what I already know, that I really am Mrs The Geek.

Or should that be penguin? I’m not sure but I hope that I did a good thing today.

When I switched to Linux it was because my Geek left me with no choice in the matter. Okay, that’s not true it’s just that I’ll be watching when my Geek reads this and I’m wanting to see the expression on his face when he reads that sentence - I’m just messing with him. Actually when I bought my laptop it did come with windoze but there is such as thing as one blue screen of death too many. I was willing to try something different if only because it could not be any worse then what I was used to.

For the most part I’m just a user - I really don’t know or understand how my operating system works and if you asked my to compile a kernel I’d put together a KFC burger. But, by using Linux and Open Source software, I have become more aware of the Open Source philosophy and slowly it has become a part of my own personal philosophy as well. My thinking has changed, my horizons have been broadened.

Which is all fine and well but how to make a difference in the world around me, I’m neither a geek nor a techie, I don’t have Mark Shuttleworth’s brains or bucks? I think I may have found the solution today though. I put my money (about R7 for two CDs) where my mouth is and I spread the news by the best means I know: here’s the software, make of it what you will.

To cut a long story short I made use of the Freedom Toaster at the MTN Sciencentre to burn two CDs for a fellow named Simon (I think that’s his name) who works at Exclusive Books so that he didn’t have to waste R400 on a book that comes complete with a Linux CD just because he wants the CD (and then the said book doesn’t even have the CD).

By the time I got back to Exclusive Books, Simon had already left for the day, so I left the CDs for him and left a note. I signed it Geek’s Girl and I also left my website address because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Maybe Simon will get the discs or maybe one of his co-workers will take them home believing them to be filled with nudie pics (they are not) but it doesn’t really matter. The point is really that there are two discs out there each with a Linux distribution on them and maybe, just maybe, they will show someone somewhere that we have options and alternatives, that we can make our own choices.

Will I have made a difference in the grand scheme of things by what I did today? Probably not. But I will have shared my knowledge with someone. That makes me feel powerful because today I may have empowered someone else. It is, I think, the most important thing I can do for my nation, albeit one disc at a time. It is living the spirit of Ubuntu.

Yes, I think I did a good thing today.