Oh Blog It All

So there I was last night at 23h00 minding my own business when my cellphone beeped, letting me know that I had just received an sms. This is rather late to be receiving an sms and I would have been most annoyed if the beeping thing had woken me up but I happened to be awake at the time. And no, I wasn’t playing WoW; I was, uh, busy.

Anyway, as soon as I could I checked the message. It said that someone fancied me and that if I wanted to know who I should sms the word “flirt” to some five digit number.

Well my brain went into overdrive trying to guess who it was. I’m pretty sure it’s not my Geek. I already know he fancies me and in case I forget he shows me in many ways that he does (by bringing me flowers at unexpected times, sending me e-mails just to tell me that he loves me, taking out the garbage, cleaning the cat’s litter box and the one thing that tells me exactly how much he cares – sorting out the shower).

So not the Geek but who then? For a brief moment I thought it might be Dave Gahan but then why send an sms when he could send flowers, chocolate and a limo to my house to pick me up and whisk me away to the fabulous life of dating a rock star. The limo would impress me more but then maybe Dave wants me to love Dave for Dave and not Dave’s Millions. In which case the sms is rather sweet.

But then I thought Dave’s probably been snapped up long ago (yes, I’m a huge DM fan but I really don’t follow the personal lives of the band members, my fanaticism is limited to obsessing about the music and drooling over Dave) so could it be that delicious specimen with the piercing blue eyes I saw on the pages of Sky Showbiz who’s name I can’t remember but who had me having to take a moment to compose myself after seeing his picture?

He was a bit young though, wrong side of twenty for my liking* and still a bit up and coming and not nearly established enough to pull an Ashton Kutcher and get away with it. He looked the very focused type and not likely to be messing with his blooming career so maybe not him.

There is always the possibility that it’s someone I know, which makes me wrinkle my nose, rub my chin and go hmmmm. See a lot of the guys I know are involved and I have to hope they’re not stupid enough to be flirting with anyone, let alone me. I also know a few single guys but they all know I’m not available so either they’re just messing with me or they entered the wrong number by mistake.

Or did they?

After all this speculation I scrolled to the end of the message to find out that finding out who my secret admirer is, is going to cost me twenty bucks, i.e. my secret admirer is cheap. Which rules out my Geek, Dave, the young Up-and-comer-with-piercing-blue-eyes (who’s not cheap, just broke probably) and all the guys I know**.

The most likely scenario is that the company sending out the message probably just sends it to computer generated cell numbers. They’re legally obliged to tell you that sms’ing them back is going to cost you R20 but they’re probably hoping you don’t read that far because you get so caught up in your secret admirer fantasy that you just have to know who it’s from.

Sadly for everyone this is a mystery that won’t be solved anytime soon because I AM cheap and day dreaming at least is free.

* more like the wrong side of 16; forget I ever mentioned him
** because they all have adsl ***
*** all except one, but he’s so busy ruling his empire he doesn’t have time to send out a flirtatious sms to some cow who’s name he abbreviates to a clothing accessory